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The Empty Nest Problem: Having Your Life Once Again On Track

There's a day approaching that many parents hate, although it may not seem like it at present. This dreaded day is when your children leave your home to make their own way in the world. The children will all be grown up and gone. It doesn?t seem that long ago that they were twirling in ballet skirts or heading to Little League tryouts. It leaves you feeling alone and lost. It may feel hard and unbearable, but there is a way to move through this phase of life smoothly.

The way in which you view this phase of life is going to determine how you cope with the change. You must realize that just because your kids are leaving the house does not mean they are leaving you. Despite the fact that your kids are no longer with you, your duties as a parent will never be deemed finished. No matter how old they get or how far away they move, you are still their mom or dad. The only difference is your children are less dependent on you than they were during their younger years. As your kids grow older, it is only right that their autonomy and individual personalities grows as well. As long as you are willing to offer guidance and emotional support to your kids, remembering that they are no longer kids, you can continue your relationship on a new footing as friends.

There are some often overlooked perks to the empty nest. You will have more time to spend with your spouse after the children move out. It?s hard to get time alone with children in the house. Now you can get to know your spouse better on an intimate basis and work toward a better relationship. It's the perfect opportunity to enjoy activities you have always wanted to try, but were never able to do when you had children around. Unleash your inhibitions and have fun with your spouse. You may just find that your child leaving the home helps to bring the spontaneity and romance back into your relationship. If you are a single parent, you can enjoy the same benefits. You can use your newfound free time as the perfect excuse for going out and meeting new people. You just may find love in the process.

Raising children is a full time job that leaves almost no time for yourself. Most parents give up some if not all of their personal interests during this period. With your children now gone, you can sit back and once again reassess your interests.

You now have the time for your former hobbies as well as time to engage in new pursuits. Go on a cruise, indulge in your earlier joy of painting, take up charity work, or start a business. With more time on your hands, why wouldn?t you want to pursue the things that you couldn?t do earlier?

Now that your kids are out of the house, do not dwell on the fact that they aren't there and you don't know what they are doing. Instead give yourself a pat on the back for doing a good job raising them. You gave them everything they need to know in order to live their own lives well.

Now it?s time to focus on you. However, it is perfectly fine to proceed slowly in the beginning while you take the time to adjust to this new phase. You are wise to get used to your new situation before making any important choices. Slowly transition into your new life as you feel more comfortable. And don't be afraid to call the kids occasionally. Staying connected makes the transition easier for everyone.